my whole heart.

the first week of 2014 was one of the best weeks of my life.

my freaking beautiful roommate turned 24 & let me tell you, 24 has never looked so good.

we made confetti angels and enough slow mo videos to last a lifetime.

& three days later our pride and joy played in the national championship game.

& WON! as we laughed at our lack of voices still trying to scream the warchant and incessantly singing dixieland delight we ordered national champion tshirts at 1am, sweet bethany joy miller declared, "OUR LIVES ARE PERFECT RIGHT NOW."

& it was the most true thing she could've said.

the next morning she had to be up at six so i woke up with her, still screaming the warchant, still so pumped about our lives.

later that day, i lost my job.

it was a strange day, i won't lie, i felt so happy about every area of my life and was still really excited about being a national champion but at the same time i had no clue what was next in my life.

after a week of straight hanging out, finishing dexter, having no responsibilities and being distracted by a visit from my best friend i realized, regardless of what it was, i needed to get a job. and for the sake of making this story a little shorter, i'm just gonna hit you with the end result, i now, at the age of 24, as a graduate of THE florida state university, work at jimmy johns.

& let me tell you first that i have had my days, the day i woke up crying or the day i got lost and was crying in the hallway of some strange office building simply because i didnt know how to get this lady her lunch, a day i tripped and fell and ruined my hand (obviously dropping lots of sandwiches), a day with 3 embarrassing moments, a day i was just so ready to go to bed and turned off my light, got shocked and proceeded to cry myself to sleep, a day i was angry and tired because my night was full of bad dreams, a day i ignored every phone call or text sent my direction, maybe even a day i refused to smile, at least for a whole hour.

BUT over the last three weeks of my unemployment/working at jimmy john's i have learned so much more than one would think. i learned how much about life i don't know. i learned how judgmental i can be. i learned that i am surrounded by such a wonderful community of christ both in nashville and at home. i learned that people who love you will still love you even if you have to wear a jimmy johns tshirt everyday. i learned that finding joy in the little things is really what makes life worth it. i learned that if the lord wants your attention, he will get it. i have learned that i am completely driven by relationships. i learned that nashville is my home and i am not ready to move on from it yet. i have learned humility. i have learned to be grateful. i have learned to be patient. i have learned to be calm. i have learned that helping someone else, even when you feel like you're the one that needs help, that someone else is still more important. i have learned to love, even when i don't feel like it. i have learned that i often forget the gravity of my sin. i have learned, again, what it is to be saved by grace. i have learned, again, that i am incredibly loved by the god of the universe and he has not and will not give up on me.

2014, i am sure will get better.

and as i am told daily by those who love me, this is just temporary and i will find a job.

but for now i am just so thankful for the people in my life who have made this month so much better and for every one of them constantly pointing me to christ. i am thankful for feeling so loved and content despite my circumstances. & i am real thankful that january is over.

so, hey february, i am so happy to see you.