the sky rained down with roses.

in my black dress i walked through the door and quickly i was greeted by numerous unfamiliar faces.

all their faces were so solemn and their eyes so heavy.

i sat down.

i listened to all the stories and all the little things that made you you…all the things i never knew until now.

i felt nothing.

i walked outside and on the steps that lead up to that old church and she leaned over to tell me there are things at the house that still need to be taken care of. it was the first thing she said to me in days. i turned to go and she grabed my shoulder and told me to put on a better image for the “party”. what a horrible word for this.

the ride home was so long and it got harder and hardert to breathe as i rounded the corner to that big yellow house.

i went inside and all was silent and seemed as empty as the inside of me.

an unfamiliar wrinkled face greets me unexpectedly, but i am quickly reminded of just who this man is, its like i knew him, but this was the first time we had ever met [what circumstances for us to finally meet].

i was awfully quiet and worked busily around the house, but suddenly the weight of that empty house was too much for me, my heart was pounding as i raced back to the edge of the woods.

i kept trying, but there were just no tears, i felt nothing.

he found me and took a seat.

he lit up a cigar and gave me that smirk that i had always imagined he would have.

“were you close?” he murmured through the side of his mouth.

i didn’t really know what to say.

he asked as if a friendship of sorts would numb the pain of our present state.

i tried so hard to remember the days of being held and cradled like a treasure, the days of being functional and being loved.

but i couldn’t. all i came up with just made it hurt even more.

i suddenly realized i had not said anything;

i sighed and whispered softly, “no.”