want.

lately i have been so conflicted with the desires of my heart. i want to be content and most days i am. i am aware of how blessed i am and how inexplicably i am so loved. yet i still have such a desire to move on. college has turned into a bit of a five year plan and i wasn't expecting that. i am bursting at the seams, desiring things that right now in my life are unattainable. people have insisted for most of my life that "college is the greatest time of your life". they go on about how fun it is to not be tied down and to be independent and free. and from day one i have felt nothing but chained down, trapped in this town, stuck in never ending classes. not to say that college has not been great, because really, i have enjoyed my time here. i am just ready to move on. i have never bought into college being the best time in my life. i am still learning and still growing. God has not completed the work in me and the greatest time of my life is ahead of me not behind. i will do my best to take advantage of the time i have left here in this town. to love the people given to me and to grow as much as i possibly can. but i know that whats ahead is something far greater than this. i am being made into the girl that God wants me to be and he is going to use that girl somewhere, someplace.

i am sorry i am so antsy, i just know i was made for something more.